Authentic and Healthy Relationships
11 July 2020
By Renee Yam
Hey Young Adults! This one is for you (& possibly more coming)!
As a young adult, there is so much to discover and learn about yourself! Who you are, what you value and believe in, what you love doing, what your dreams, hopes and desires are for your big bright future ahead of you! What career you are interested in or what study youwill pursue….And lets not forget relationships! What is important to you about sex, dating and relationships!
These years are exciting and full of adventure, but it can also feel like there is so much to navigate. Who can you speak to about all your questions? Are you wiling to open up about your challenges or are you overcome by shame or embarrassment? Its so easy to just stay silent, not talk to anyone and hope everything will ‘just work out’…eventually.
You were not designed to do life alone, and you don’t need to navigate the complexities of relationships on your own either. Consider who you have in your world that is trustworthy, that you feel safe with and who respects you to let you share openly, be listened to and receive wisdom and guidance from for your journey.
We all need connection, we all need to belong to others, we all need authenticity! We thrive when our relationships are healthy.
WHAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?
Healthy relationships are where we can authentically be our true selves. They are relationships that have no pretense or façade. We can be real and honest around people we trust.
But its no denying that authenticity is vulnerable….and that can be scary. It can be risky sharing your hopes, dreams, fears and insecurities, mistakes, shortcomings or failures. Will you still be accepted? Will you still be enough?
Being vulnerable with a person that you trust, you feel safe with and respects and honours you can bring healing! But this is a journey, that is built over time, in the small seemingly insignificant of moments. Keep building and being intentional.
HOW DO YOU BUILD A HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIP?
A healthy relationship takes work, it doesn’t just become healthy and it doesn’t just stay healthy. It needs intentional, consistent investment with both hearts that are humble and willing to learn and grow.
Intimacy is first built outside thebedroom.
Work on building trust, safety, respect and vulnerability – through talking, creating fun memories and learning about each other. Having a connection that is emotionally and mentally strong is more important & longer lasting than simply just connecting on a purely physical level.
Are you trustworthy? Do you follow through with what you say?
Are you respectful? Do you honour and appreciate your partners voice, privacy, choices and values?
Are you a safe person? Do you encourage and release your bf/gf in their giftings, or do you push for your own agenda?
A healthy relationship is free from manipulation, dominance, control, abuse, name calling and coercion.
It is built from a foundation where both partners are unselfishly seeking the best and higher good for the other. Matt22.37-39 AMP
WHAT IS THE FOCUS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
Is it your faith, your planting in a church, is it your family or your careers? Does it even have a focus?
There is something powerful about building your relationship on something greater than simply just yourselves. Building your relationship on the Word of God and the pursuit of building His kingdom brings great purpose and meaning to your lives.
WHO CAN YOU ALLOW TO SPEAK INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
At the start of a relationship, it can be so easy to get caught up in the excitement of this new love affair that we unintentionally isolate or withdraw from the community around us. As exciting as a new relationship is, its also a very important time to have people around you.
You need the right people to speak into your life….because as much as we think we know everything, no one really does and we can always welcome more wisdom for the journey!
Consider who you have in your world that you would like to give permission to speak truth and life, and offer wisdom and guidance into your life in this season. Would you be brave enough to invite them to ask you the tough questions and to encourage you to be honest with them about any questions or challenges you have? It can really be a blessing to have trusted people in your world that love you and are willing to ‘look out’ for you and care for you in this way.
If you would like to learn more about healthy relationships, below are some websites with helpful resources.